


Friends in Shady Places

by speccygeekgrrl



Series: even the mistakes aren't really mistakes at all [14]
Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: All these projects Kinga has mentioned are finally getting underway, Brain Guy really likes appletinis, F/M, Kinga's ex-girlfriend makes an appearance, Pearl's cellar is a total mess, Research, Synthia is actually really cool, gratuitous flirting, so much plot, two important conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 13:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12682689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: Kinga needs three things before she can get her moon base project off the ground: research, an alliance, and funding. She crosses them all off her list in one very busy weekend. Max also gets something he needs that he's been waiting a while for.





	Friends in Shady Places

**Author's Note:**

> I'm using NaNo to try to get Mistakes to the point where it becomes Lovers from the Moon. This is a whole bunch of plot-important stuff I delayed getting to because I was so wrapped up in the romance stuff before this, but now it's full speed ahead into the maddest of science! This part is absurdly long but important.

The first time Max woke up with Kinga still in his bed, he was surprised to find her wrapped around him as securely as she’d been when they fell asleep. He’d figured that she’d let go during the night, but she clung to him all night long and only clung tighter when she started to wake up, mumbling nonsense into his shoulder until he said good morning. He thought that would be a one-off, that she was just going overboard with the affection because this was so new to the both of them.

By the middle of their second month as... whatever they were now... he realized that this was just her modus operandi. He didn’t mind at all that she always wanted to be the big spoon when they shared a bed— honestly, her need to be in control could have expressed itself in much less pleasant ways, and Max was never going to argue about being cuddled. And he didn’t mind that she used him like a life-sized teddy bear all night. It didn’t take long for her occasional overnight stays to become the rule rather than the exception after she told him that she slept better with him in her arms than she ever did alone.

He was bothered that she still hadn’t said that she loved him, or let him put any labels on their changed relationship, but he wasn’t about to poke holes in the affection she was offering him. They went from spending most of their time together to spending almost all of it together, but it was... comfortable. It felt right to just be in the same place even if they were doing different things. It felt right to do dumb little domestic things with her. Going grocery shopping together was an exercise in compromise: she basically survived on takeout and frozen meals on her own, when she remembered to eat, and he had to go through several suggestions before landing on a few things he could make that would entice her out of her forgetful/lazy terrible diet. Making sure she didn’t die of malnutrition wasn’t a new thing for him, but coming home every night and making dinner for the both of them was kind of thrilling anyways.

Their birthdays were only a few weeks apart, and hers was only a few weeks after their change in relationship. It had not been a hardship to give her what she asked for when what she wanted was him; she wanted to find out how far she could test him with her nails and teeth and it turned out that his tolerance for that sort of hurting was very, very high, much to her delight. She’d been totally right when she bet he’d bruise perfectly, too. He didn’t mind walking around with her marks on his skin, even when she left one on his neck that was clearly visible over a t-shirt collar.

It was after her birthday but before his when Kinga turned to him on the couch with an anxious expression and said, “I think I need to get some stuff out of Grandma’s basement.”

“Really?” There was no love lost between Max and Pearl. The last time he’d seen her was the day she’d kicked him out of Deep 13 with only what he could pack into his car, most of his stuff but not much of his dad’s, a box full of memories and little more than that. “Didn’t you get the experiment tapes from her?”

“Nah, I got those online. I’m pretty sure she kept most of what Dad had in the lab, I just want to see if I can find a few things I know he worked on.” She shrugged. “Come on, a field trip to Castle Forrester isn’t the worst thing that could happen, is it?”

“You say that, but you don’t sound like you believe it,” he pointed out, and she pouted at him.

“Come with me. Please. I don’t want to deal with Grandma by myself.”

“Well, of course I will, I’m just not going to like it,” he said dryly, and she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“It won’t be terrible. I’m just hoping that Bobo and Brain Guy will be around. She’s a little less gratuitously cruel to other people when she has them to beat on.”

“So what are we going in for?”

“Files about the Satellite of Love and the Mystery Science Theater experiments, anything to do with genetics, I guess anything that looks interesting aside from that but those two things are of primary importance.”

“Do I... do I have to talk to Pearl?”

“Probably, but not for long.”

“I still don’t know why she hates me so much.”

“It’s complicated,” Kinga said, and he arched a brow at her.

“You _know_?” She wobbled one hand in the air.

“I’m making an educated guess based on reviewing the old experiments and what I know to be true about her.”

“So what’s your educated guess?”

“She was friends with Frank behind my dad’s back. I bet Frank didn’t tell her about you. Remember that first time she showed up in Deep 13? The way she went blue screen of death when the two of us came into the room?”

“I remember.”

“I think she hates you because he kept you secret. I have no idea why he’d keep you secret, though.” Max sighed and dropped his head into his hands for a moment, then looked up at her.

“Did she know that we were both created in the lab?”

“I’m assuming my dad told her at some point. I don’t really know.” Kinga shrugged. “The only way to find out what she knows is to ask her, and I don’t see you asking her.”

“Ask her for me, then,” Max said, and she shook her head.

“I don’t want to add mission objectives that’ll end up making us stay there longer. This needs to be a tactical strike.”

“So our objective is data retrieval?”

“I have to talk to Brain Guy, too. If I ever want this moon base idea to get off the ground.” He groaned at her pun and she smirked at him. “If he’s not on board, the whole idea has to be reworked. So I need to be very persuasive.”

“Persuasion isn’t exactly your strong suit,” he said, smirking back, and she hit his arm none too gently. “Manipulation, yes, persuasion, not so much. When do you want to go?”

“Today or tomorrow.”

“Get it out of the way faster?” She nodded. “Are you going to call her first?”

“It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.”

“You’re not going to get either of them from her, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t really need either of them, so that’s fine with me.”

Kinga knew the way, but Max insisted on driving, always wary of the redhead’s road rage problem. Castle Forrester was a few hours away and Kinga spent most of the drive jotting down notes in her purse notebook, asking Max seemingly random questions about their childhoods and chewing on the cap of her pen while she thought about the answers. It was a beautiful drive, at least, a perfect Saturday in July for a road trip, and when they parked in front of the castle Kinga reached for Max’s hand and squeezed it.

“Her opinion of you doesn’t matter for anything. Remember that.”

“I could say the same to you,” he said, and she smiled slightly. “But I have a feeling you might need the reminder a little later.”

“We’ll be fine,” she said, aiming for airy and landing on anxious instead. “What’s the worst that could happen?” she asked as they got out of the car.

“You just invoked it,” he said with a sigh. “Whatever it is.”

“It can’t be that bad,” she said, and rang the doorbell. After a couple minutes of the two of them looking at each other, she rang it again, and it swung open to reveal Pearl, whose brows arched in shock.

“Kinga? What are _you_ doing here?” She glanced at Max but didn’t acknowledge his presence. Max tried not to roll his eyes. Being ignored was better than being lambasted.

“Hi Grandma! I wanted to dig around in your basement for some of Dad’s old stuff,” Kinga chirped. “I think he’d want me to have it, since I’m following his footsteps as a Gizmocrat, and—”

“Go ahead and take it,” Pearl interrupted her. “I really don’t care, it’s just cluttering up the place now. I never had the heart to throw it away, since somewhere in there is all your father was ever worth, but... it’s yours if you want it.” Kinga’s face went through a series of acrobatics while Pearl talked, from hope to heartbreak and back to some semblance of resolve. She nodded.

“Thanks,” she said. “Can you show us where it is?”

“Oh, no,” Pearl said. “I was just on my way out. But that’s what lackeys are for. Bobo? Brain Guy!” Her voice was strident. Max wondered how far it carried through the echoing halls of the castle, but Brain Guy showed up a moment later, looking curious and then pleased.

“Kinga! How unexpected. And Max. Is this mad science business or a family visit?” Pearl rolled her eyes.

“They’re here for Clayton’s old junk. Take them to the cellar and show them where it is.”

“Of course.” Pearl pushed past them and walked to her car. Brain Guy waited for her to drive away before he smiled at them. “You’re looking well compared to the last time I saw you,” he said to Kinga, turning to Max to add, “And you I’ve only heard of, though you’re rather unmistakable.”

“I am?” Max asked, bemused. Brain Guy nodded.

“I met your father once,” he said. “You’re the very image of him.”

“He would be, all things considered,” Kinga said. “Hopefully we’ll find my dad’s files on how he managed it.”

“Would that be the cloning research?” Brain Guy asked. “Pearl wasn’t satisfied with her results after going through it, but perhaps you’ll have more luck.” He started into the castle, leaving the third-generation mad scientist and the second-generation second banana trailing behind him. Max couldn’t help looking around, not too impressed with the castle’s decorating scheme from what he could see.

“Grandma cloned someone?”

“She cloned _herself_ , of course. And Synthia is... well-intentioned. Which is the opposite of what Pearl was going for.” He looked around and shrugged. “She’s around here somewhere. And I can’t say I’m unhappy that she’s not exactly like Pearl, although they look identical.”

“What, you mean there’s a version of her that’s younger than me running around?” Kinga looked immensely uncomfortable at the thought. Max shuddered. Brain Guy cracked a smile.

“She’s not that bad.” He stopped in front of a heavy wooden door. “What you seek lies below.”

“No kidding,” Max said, and yanked at the door until it opened with a creak of protest from the hinges. “I’m guessing no one comes down here much?”

“How often do you think Pearl cares to revisit history?” Brain Guy asked, and Kinga snorted.

“She’s very good at abandoning things and never looking back,” she said.

“Is there any kind of organization down here or...” Max went down the stairs first, fumbling for a light before Brain Guy nodded and turned on the bare bulb hanging from the ceiling. “Oh. Jeez.” Kinga whistled as she followed him down. The cellar had clearly never been organized, probably not in the history of the castle, totes piled in front of boxes piled in front of crates, huge pieces of obscure scientific equipment in the mix here and there. Kinga walked right up to a person-sized glass tank and put her hand on it.

“Well, at least Dad’s stuff is probably toward the front down here. This is familiar.” She bent to open a tote on one side of the tank, Max doing the same on the other side, Brain Guy standing at the foot of the stairs looking vaguely interested. “Oh yeah, this is all invention exchange stuff...”

“I think this stuff is about my dad,” Max said uncomfortably. “Ways he was killed and brought back.” He flipped through a few papers, blanched, and put the lid back on the tote. “Not what we’re here for.” Kinga made a mental note of that box as she moved on to the next. “We’re probably going to be down here a while, you don’t have to stay,” she told Brain Guy, who shrugged.

“Not like I have anything more interesting to do right now,” he said. “I could help you get things up to your car...”

“We’d appreciate that,” Max said quickly, knowing that he was on the line for hauling most of it up the stairs otherwise. “Didn’t expect you to volunteer though.”

“Oh, I’ve always been interested in abetting Kinga’s career.”

“Ever since that Christmas break when Grandma wouldn’t help me with my shriek ray,” Kinga said.

“Shrink ray?” Max echoed.

“No. Shriek ray. Targeted sound waves. It was quite clever,” Brain Guy said. “After we got it working, she used it to terrorize Bobo. By far the most interesting winter holiday I’ve spent on this planet.”

“That was fun,” Kinga said, a reminiscent smile on her face. “I got an A on that project, too.”

“Huh,” Max said, looking from her to the alien and back again. “You never mentioned that to me...”

“There’s a lot about my school years I haven’t mentioned to you,” she said, looking... vaguely guilty? That was concerning, but Max wasn’t about to press just then. “Oh! These are satellite schematics!” She pulled blueprints out of the tote and unfolded them, nodding to herself. “Yeah, look, here’s the Umbilicus design. It’s going to need some reworking, but at least we have the framework to build on now.”

“Good,” Max said, and held up a folder. “This is stuff about Nummy Muffin Cocol Butter.”

“Genetics,” she said. “Animal, not human, but still useful. Grab it.” He stacked that tote on top of the one she’d pulled out, then dug through the one that had been under it.

“Oh,” he said. “Oh, here we go. Look at these.” He showed Kinga a set of photographs: that same huge glass tank, with a fetal human floating in a pinkish liquid. Her eyes widened and she came over to look through that box.

“Max... do you know what this is?”

“What we’re looking for?”

“This is _us_. This is how they made us.” Max glanced at the back of the photographs he was holding and offered them to her.

“This is you,” he said. She nodded, flipping through pages with laser focus.

“Yeah. This is all about gene manipulation...” She dug a little deeper and pulled out a spiral-bound notebook, then laughed. “Pretty sure this one is you,” she said, and showed him the front cover, where Dr. F had scrawled “Frank’s baby” and she assumed Frank had added the little hearts around it. Max bit his lip against a laugh and flipped through the pages, then couldn’t hold back the laugh any more.

“It was a collaboration,” he said, pointing out Frank’s scribbled asides in the margins. “Or at least, my dad’s opinions were taken into account.” He slowed down the further he flipped, and then he let out a small, startled, “oh.”

“What? What is it?”

“I’m... not the first attempt they made.” He turned a couple more pages. “I was the fourth.”

“What happened to the first three?” Max just shook his head and handed her the notebook. She scanned the pages and blanched. “Oh. Yikes.”

“Well, at least they got it right eventually,” Brain Guy said. “Pearl did say that you can’t make a clone without cracking a few embryos.”

“How many did she take?” Kinga asked. Brain Guy gave her a grim look.

“You don’t want to know.” Kinga swallowed and dropped the subject and the notebook back into the tote and put the lid back on it.

“We should check the rest just to be sure we aren’t missing anything, but this is a lot of what we came for,” she said, stacking it on top of the other one she wanted to take and going back to the other side of the tank to keep looking. The next box she opened was full of more satellite plans, including a little papier-mâché model of the bone-shaped satellite with colorful marker scrawl on it. “Hey, I remember doing this,” she said, picking it up and turning it in her hands. “Dad yelled at me for coloring on it, but then he set it up on my dresser so I could still look at it.”

“You cried so much when he yelled at you and then turned it off immediately when he left the room,” Max said, laughing. “Natural-born manipulator.”

“I was born to be bad,” she said with a smirk. “Or... created, anyways.”

“Does born necessarily imply a mother?”

“I mean, birth does, so I think it would.” She shrugged. “As far as we know, there are three people on the planet who need to worry about splitting hairs about it, and we’re two of them.”

“Observers aren’t born,” Brain Guy said, and they both looked at him curiously. “We’re manifested.”

“We definitely weren’t manifested,” Max said, and Kinga shrugged.

“Weren’t we? We weren’t gestated. Isn’t creating a baby out of genetic material and nutrient fluid just a time- and labor-intensive form of manifestation?” Max blinked, and Brain Guy smiled.

“Spoken like a true mad scientist,” he said approvingly. “You’ve always had such potential. I can only imagine how much further along you’d be if you’d received more support in the years I’ve known you.”

“I think I did okay with what I had,” she said, glancing at Max with a small smile. “I’ve gotten a lot more of it lately.” Max smiled back, turning slightly pink, and Brain Guy smirked.

“Yes. I can see that. You seem happier.”

“I am happier.”

“You deserve to be happier,” Max said, and Brain Guy smirked a little harder.

“Then keep doing whatever it is you’ve been doing.” Max turned more pink and turned back to the boxes he was looking through a bit more flustered than he’d been. Kinga gave Brain Guy a suspicious look.

“What do you know?”

“What _don’t_ I know? I am omniscient, after all.”

“I’m being serious. What do you know? And what are you going to repeat to Grandma?”

“Nothing,” Brain Guy said. “I’m not going to tell her a thing. She’d be furious if she knew what the two of you were up to together.” Kinga went pale, and Brain Guy sighed and patted her arm reassuringly. “Max is right. You deserve to be happier. And if he makes you happier, then I’m happy for the both of you.”

“Thank you,” Kinga said, covering Brain Guy’s hand with hers. “Do you think I could ask for your help with something?”

“I’m assuming you don’t mean this.”

“No. Something really big.”

“How big?”

“That depends on what you have to say about my idea.”

“Well, don’t leave me in suspense.”

“I want to put a mostly subterranean base on the moon.”

“Technically, subterranean refers to Earth specifically,” Max piped up, and she pursed her lips at him. “It does! It would be sublunar if it’s on the moon.”

“That’s quite a project,” Brain Guy said.

“It would be easier if I built it on Earth and you sent it up to the moon,” she said. “If that’s within your powers.”

“ _If_ ,” Brain Guy said, a little huffy. “Of course it is. What sort of omnipotent being do you take me as? If that’s within your powers, hmph.”

“I didn’t want to assume,” Kinga said soothingly. “After all, half the time when Grandma asks you to do something you can’t—”

“Won’t and can’t are different things, as you well know.”

“It’s going to be a big base. Probably at least 14 stories deep, plus something above ground. It’ll be extensive.”

“And what do I get out of this?”

“Eternal gratitude, a place to escape if you need one, and the best appletinis you’ve ever had.”

“I’ve had some excellent appletinis.”

“Max makes them better,” Kinga promised, and Brain Guy looked at Max measuringly.

“Is this true?”

“I make the best appletinis _she’s_ ever had. Your experience is broader but hopefully they’ll at least make your top three.”

“You’ve piqued my interest.”

“That’s a start,” Kinga said cheerfully. “We’ll talk about it when we’re done down here, okay?” It took another forty-five minutes of looking through dusty boxes before Kinga was satisfied with what they’d found, a stack of six tote boxes of Clayton’s research and one box that was full of things that had been Frank’s. Brain Guy transported them up next to the car, and Max did a little Tetris to figure out how to fit them in the backseat and trunk after Kinga pulled out the little bartending kit from the trunk.

“Were you planning this bribery all along?” Brain Guy asked, sounding almost entirely amused.

“Well, yeah, this is pretty much the entire reason he got good at making them,” Kinga said. “I knew you had a weakness for them.”

“I’m sure it had nothing to do with your own fondness for them.”

“I wouldn’t be fond of them if you hadn’t let me sneak sips of yours when I was home for the holidays.”

“I did no such thing!”

“You didn’t stop me doing it. And yours were better than Grandma’s.”

“Pearl’s always had a taste for the bitter,” Brain Guy said, and Max snorted as he slammed the trunk shut.

“Gosh. What a shock.”

“I wonder if that’s hereditary,” Kinga said thoughtfully. “Because she and my dad and I all like our coffee black.”

“It is,” Brain Guy said. “Come on, let’s go back inside. This sunshine is a bit much for me.” He lead them to the kitchen of the castle, which was a total mess, and cleared the table with a nod to make space for Kinga to put down the bartending kit, which looked like a cute little suitcase but was filled with booze and carefully packed glassware.

“How do you like them?” Max asked as he picked up the shaker.

“Plentiful,” Brain Guy responded, and Kinga snorted.

“Okay, but we’re talking shop while you get boozy.”

“I expected no less.” He set his brain down on the table and sat back, watching Max make a drink with all the fluency of a skilled bartender. “So your moon base.”

“Yes. It’s going to have to be big if I want it to be self-sustaining. Here, look at this...” She pulled her ever present notebook out of her purse and opened it to where she’d bookmarked. “That was my basic idea for the layout, and I was just planning it would go down about fourteen stories.”

“And how do you propose to build this? Even on Earth, that’s going to be an expensive project.”

“I just want to know if it’s possible before I start looking into funding. No point in doing all the work only to have you tell me you can’t help at all.”

“That’s true. Oh, thank you,” Brain Guy said, accepting a drink from Max. He took a sip and his eyes widened. “This is quite good!”

“Not the best?” Kinga asked.

“Definitely top three,” Brain Guy said, and Max nodded in satisfaction. “It’s not impossible,” he addressed Kinga again, tapping one finger on the notebook. “But you do realize that any flaw in construction could doom it once I transport it to the moon, right?”

“I know.”

“You can’t go bargain-basement on this one.”

“I know!”

“Just making sure.”

“I know, trust me, I’ve been thinking about this for years now. I have thought about most of the disasters that could happen if I’m careless.” Max handed her a drink and she smiled at him. “You’re just the first person I needed to consult with. I have another call to make to find out about the plausibility, now that you’ve confirmed the possibility.”

“This is very ambitious of you,” Brain Guy said, and she smirked.

“I’m a very ambitious person.”

“Tell me about what else you’re working on. How are things going at your university?”

“Oh, things are going fine at Gizmonics.” Max kept making drinks for them as Kinga told Brain Guy about her Kingachrome project, interjecting every so often with a reminder of some amusing detail, until the alien looked pleasantly soused and Kinga had entered the effervescent stage of inebriation. Then a blonde woman walked into the kitchen and Kinga’s mood shifted. “Grandma?”

“No,” the woman said, although she looked just like Pearl.

“This is Synthia,” Brain Guy said. “Synthia, this is Kinga and that’s Max.”

“Hello,” Synthia said, looking them both up and down stiffly.

“You can be yourself,” Brain Guy added, and she visibly relaxed.

“Oh, okay. Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Would you like a drink?” Max offered, since he was doing that anyways, and Synthia perked up.

“That’d be great.”

“So you’re my grandmother’s clone,” Kinga said, leaning across the table to scrutinize the other woman, who gave her a quizzical look. “What do you know?”

“Uh... that’s an open-ended question,” Synthia said uncertainly. “Not as much as Pearl does, but more than I did a year ago?” Max couldn’t help smiling when he handed her a drink.

“Good answer,” he said. “Welcome to the clone club. I’m the founding member.”

“You’re a clone?” Now Synthia looked at him more carefully. “Of who?”

“TV’s Frank.”

“You’re TV’s Son of TV’s Frank,” Synthia said, and Max’s eyes lit up.

“I like that a lot.”

“You would,” Kinga said, more fond than scornful but a little of both. “So what’s your story? What’s your purpose?”

“You’re very rude,” Synthia said. “I’m not asking you what the point of your existence is, am I?”

“She has a point,” Brain Guy said.

“The point of my existence is to take over the world,” Kinga said. “Your turn.”

“I don’t know what my purpose is, okay? I don’t know. Pearl never told me. I’m just a backup, I guess.” Brain Guy leaned over and patted Synthia’s arm sympathetically.

“You have more of a purpose beyond what Pearl had planned for you,” he said, and Synthia rolled her eyes and finished her drink.

“Tell that to Pearl. Cause I can’t.”

“Why can’t you?” Max asked. Synthia and Brain Guy shared a shifty look.

“Pearl thinks I’m defective,” Synthia said. “Dumb. Poorly programmed.”

“You don’t seem dumb to me,” Max said.

“I might encourage her to think that with my behavior now,” Synthia said. “Because if she thought I was competent, she’d abuse me like she does Brain Guy and Bobo. She mostly leaves me to my own devices when she thinks I’m too stupid to be taught.”

“And no one’s ratted you out?” Kinga asked.

“He’s the only one who knows,” Synthia said, pointing at Brain Guy. “But he’s good at keeping secrets.”

“Yes, he is,” Kinga said. Brain Guy looked very pleased. “Now we know...”

“Please don’t tell her,” Synthia said desperately. Max snorted.

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us.”

“Neither of us is likely to tell Grandma any privileged information,” Kinga added.

“You know, if this moon thing works out, you should take Synthia with you,” Brain Guy said. “She’d be better off not having to play dumb all the time.”

“You have to make Pearl think it’s her idea,” Synthia said, and Brain Guy snorted a laugh.

“It certainly wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done that.”

“What, you actually get away with manipulating her?” Max sounded astonished.

“Don’t say that too loudly or it’ll echo until she gets back,” Synthia said.

“Once you know how to handle a prideful person, Pearl’s easier to deal with,” Brain Guy said. “A little. Not a lot. But a little is enough sometimes.”

“I know how _that_ goes,” Max said, and Kinga made a face at him. “Not that I mind it.”

“You better not,” she said. “I think it might be time for us to hit the road, I want to be gone before she comes home.”

“Thanks for the drink,” Synthia said, handing the empty glass back to Max to be packed away. “What was it, anyways?”

“An appletini,” Max, Kinga, and Brain Guy all said simultaneously. Synthia’s brows arched.

“Okay then. Thanks for the appletini.”

“No problem.” Max busied himself with putting everything back into the kit, carefully not reacting when he saw Kinga slip a small glass vial filled with something blue under the foam lining of the case. “Thank you for the help, Brain Guy.”

“Oh, don’t mention it,” Brain Guy said. “Please don’t. This should be kept between us.”

“Obviously,” Kinga said. “I’ll be in touch as the project moves forward.”

“I look forward to hearing from you,” he said. “Because this does sound like fun.”

“Fun’s a strange word for it,” Max said, and Kinga shrugged.

“I think colonizing the moon will be a lot of fun!” Brain Guy just laughed as he walked them to the door of the castle, and they both waved at him before they drove away. They’d barely cleared the driveway before Max side-eyed Kinga.

“What did you sneak?”

“What?”

“That vial.”

“Oh, that. I took a little of the fluid from his brain pan.”

“Why?”

“Because he would have noticed if I’d actually touched his brain.”

“No, _why_?”

“Because if I can isolate biological material, I can use that in my work.”

“What for?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Human/alien hybrids? A master race of atomic supermen with telepathic powers?”

“This is going to end badly,” Max sighed, and Kinga smirked and leaned against the window.

“You say that a lot.”

“I’m usually right.”

“You’re sometimes right.”

“I’m mostly right.”

“If you say so.” She pulled out her phone and started tapping at it, and he turned on the radio to fill the silence when she got super into whatever she was doing. Now and then she’d giggle and he’d shoot her a questioning look she entirely missed.

“So,” he said a couple hours into the drive, bored at being ignored, “what’s the next step of the plan?”

“I’m working on it right now,” she said.

“Okay...?”

“Securing funding,” she said. “I’m calling on an old connection who might be able to help.”

“Who is he?”

“She.” Kinga put her phone down in her lap and gave Max a hesitant look. “My ex. From high school.” Max blinked.

“And your school girlfriend is independently wealthy?”

“She’s done very well for herself since graduation,” Kinga said, looking away from Max.

“Doing what, exactly?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, and Max shook his head.

“You realize that saying that makes me worry more.”

“I told you that my school was for the daughters of villainous types,” she said, and he nodded. “Root was less the daughter of a villainous type and more an actual villainous type herself. Absolutely brilliant, completely ruthless, totally amoral. She was amazing.”

“Sounds terrifying,” Max said. “Doesn’t answer my question though.”

“She’s a hacker,” Kinga said. “Mostly. Also a gun for hire sometimes. She’s telling me about a riot she incited now, it sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Oh... kay...” Max just shook his head and focused on the road. “And you think she’ll just throw money at you?”

“Hell no, she’s going to want things in return. But I don’t think our goals are out of alignment here.”

“Your goals are in alignment with a mercenary hacker?”

“We’re villains, Max,” she reminded him. “We do bad things. That’s what we’re here for.” He made a face and didn’t say anything. Most of what they’d done together was fairly neutral science. So far, they hadn’t actually hurt anyone with their projects. He was a little queasy about allying with someone with blood on her hands, but... it wasn’t like he wouldn’t go along with it, and complaining wouldn’t get him anywhere, so he might as well keep quiet about it. “Oh, wow, that’s faster than I thought,” she said a few minutes later.

“What?”

“She wants to meet tomorrow morning for brunch.”

“In person?”

“Yeah, she’s going to fly in tonight. She really wants to see me.” Kinga seemed delighted about it. Max wasn’t so well pleased. From the way Kinga looked when she talked about this Root lady, he felt uncomfortably aware that he’d never caught her looking at him like that, and even more aware that she still resisted when he tried to call her his girlfriend. She wouldn’t put words to what they were to each other now, and that lack of definition felt like standing on quicksand right now. He swallowed the sinking feeling and nodded silently.

They spent most of the evening on the couch, poring over the contents of the boxes they’d taken. Max was very interested in his father’s things, little mementos and keepsakes, a diary, another photo album, mostly odds and ends but ones that made him feel closer to Frank. Kinga focused on the satellite plans, jotting down notes in her notebook about materials and estimated costs and potential upgrades, trying to ballpark how much that one very costly part of her plan would cost without even factoring in the moon base it would need to be anchored to. After they’d been at it for a couple of hours, she put down the file she was looking at, rolled her shoulders, and tilted her head from side to side until her neck popped.

“Ugh, I’ve been looking down too long.” Max put down the diary he’d been reading with great interest and came around behind the couch to rub her shoulders, and she sighed. “Oh. Thanks. You’re wonderful.” She let out a little whimper when he dug his thumbs into the tense spot along her spine, dropping her head forward to let him at it easier. “So great.”

“I try,” he said, bending down to kiss the top of her head. “You need to be cared for, after all.”

“I do,” she said. “I’m a disaster in progress.”

“But you’re my disaster.” She snorted a laugh that turned into a sigh as he kept working the tension out of her shoulders. “How’s the research going?”

“I have no idea how my dad got Gizmonics to fund the project in the first place. There’s not a chance in hell they’d give me that much money for anything short of cold fusion.”

“Well, the 80s were a different time...”

“You’re not kidding. I don’t want to owe this to Gizmonics, anyways. I want it to be mine. Dad relying on Gizmonics is what got us kicked out and traumatized when it all went to hell. I need to be independent from them. Just in case.”

“In case of what?”

“Who knows? Better safe than sorry.” She tilted her head back to look up at him. “Are you tired? I’m so tired of doing this right now.”

“So stop. No one’s making you continue.”

“...you want to go to bed?”

“Go to bed, or take you to bed?”

“Both.”

“Well, obviously yes.” She was smirking when she got to her feet, smirking when she followed him into the bedroom, smirking when she pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him, but he wiped the smirk off her face with kisses and caresses and he was the one wearing the smirk by the time she wrapped herself around him to fall asleep. “I love you,” he whispered after he thought she’d fallen asleep, and got a sleepy squeeze and a kiss on the back of his neck in unexpected response.

Sunday mornings were usually a lazy affair. Not this time. Kinga was out of bed and primping in front of a mirror by 9:30. Max was surprised by how much effort she put into her appearance— usually she looked nice, but she was clearly trying to impress today.

“You’re unusually fancy...”

“She hasn’t seen me since we were seventeen,” Kinga said. “I want to look as good as I feel these days.”

“Do you?”

“What?”

“Feel good.”

“Of course I do,” she said, like it was obvious, and she left a lipstick print on his cheek as she swept out of the bathroom. He looked at himself wryly in the mirror, hesitating to wipe the red mark away even though he had a half-dozen more durable marks from her left on his skin. Of course, if she dressed up, he had to make an effort too, and she gave him a lingering up-and-down look when he came out of the bedroom. “Aren’t you fancy,” she purred, toying with the collar of his shirt for a moment. “You look really good in green, have I told you that?”

“No,” he said with a smile. “But now I won’t forget that you did. When are we supposed to meet her?”

“10:15 at the Iron Gate Cafe,” she said.

“You really are trying to impress her, huh?”

“Maybe,” Kinga said, flushing slightly. “You know what I looked like when I found you again. I just want her to remember me as I am now and not as I was as an awkward teenager.”

“You weren’t awkward when you found me,” he said, and she gave him a skeptical look.

“You weren’t there for the way I was in high school,” she said.

“You’ve never shown me pictures or anything.”

“And I never will. I was a very ugly duckling.”

“I find that impossible to believe.”

“I’d like to keep it that way.” She checked the time and grabbed her purse. “Come on. We can’t be late.” It wasn’t a long drive to the restaurant, and she spent most of it nervously scrutinizing her reflection in the visor mirror.

“You look great,” he said before they got out of the car. “I swear. You have nothing to feel nervous about.”

“You are hilariously incorrect about that, but thank you,” she said. He held the door to the restaurant for her and almost ran into her when she paused in the doorway.

“Queenie!” A devastatingly lovely brunette woman with a regal mane of curls swept Kinga into her arms as soon as she caught sight of her, and Max’s heart sank. _This_ was Kinga’s ex? She looked like an Amazon, tall and fierce, and she buried her nose in Kinga’s hair and sighed deeply. “It’s _so_ good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too,” Kinga said, and she held Root at arm’s length after a moment, looking her up and down in awe. “You look like you’re doing well!”

“Business is good and my job satisfaction is sky-high,” Root said with a winning smile. “Now who’s this?”

“Root, this is Max. Max, this is Root.”

“ _This_ is the infamous Max!” Root gave him a once-over and then smirked. “She said so much about you at school. I imagined you as taller.”

“That’s funny, Kinga’s barely mentioned you,” Max said uncomfortably, and Root glanced back at Kinga with that smirk still in place.

“Good. That’s exactly as it should be.”

“Is Root your last name or...?”

“If you knew my real name that’d be more excuse than I need to kill you,” she said cheerfully, and her madness was clear to see in the light in her dark eyes and the edge of her smile. Max swallowed and didn’t say anything when Root looped her arm through Kinga’s. “You got here at the perfect time, the hostess said it’ll just be a few minutes.”

“I asked for the terrace when I made the reservation,” Kinga said. “It’s a shame to waste a beautiful day indoors.”

“You remembered,” Root cooed, looking delighted. “You know, I almost thought I wouldn’t hear from you again.”

“You wouldn’t have given me a way to reach you if you’d wanted that to be true,” Kinga said, and Root laughed.

“Oh, I never wanted it to be true. I still wish you’d taken me up on that year in Europe...”

“My scholarship at Gizmonics wouldn’t have waited.”

“I always knew that science was your first love. It still stung when you said no, though.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Kinga said.

“Sweetie, if I thought you had, I wouldn’t be here. But I did tell you to call me when you were planning on taking over the world, and you promised this would be interesting.” The hostess called them, and Max trailed behind them to their outdoor table, wondering why Kinga had brought him at all when Root clearly wanted her to herself. He wasn’t exactly comforted when Kinga opted to sit on the opposite side of the table from Root, but his place was by her side as long as she wanted him there, and it seemed that she still did. “So... tell me what’s so interesting,” Root said after they placed their drink orders. “When should I expect the rise of the Forrester empire?”

“I’m not quite to the taking-over-the-world stage yet,” Kinga said, and under the table her foot hooked around Max’s ankle. “I was planning on taking over the moon first.” Max studied the menu, trying not to look like he was watching the back-and-forth between them as closely as he was.

“Bold choice,” Root said. “No one has the resources to stop you, which is a plus. But it’s nearly impossible, and I think that outweighs the whole uncontested territory thing.”

“Impossible is such an ugly word,” Kinga said. “It’s hardly impossible. Merely incredibly difficult.”

“Oh, sweetie, that’s what you said about breaking into the science building.”

“And I was right, wasn’t I?”

“I suppose by some metric you could say you were right...”

“We made it in and out without getting caught, and we got most of what we went in for. How is that not a success?”

“We didn’t make out in the planetarium, and that was _my_ objective for the night.”

“We would have gotten caught if we’d done that,” Kinga said lightly, and Root pursed her lips playfully.

“Would have been worth it to kiss you under a supernova.” The waitress came back with a mimosa for each woman and a cup of coffee for Max and took their orders, and when she walked away Root focused on Kinga again with that playful enamored look. “I’m _very_ interested to hear why you think taking over the moon won’t be impossible.”

“I told you a little about my grandmother’s friends...”

“The alien and the ape-man?” Root laughed. “Are you still bullshitting me with those stories?”

“They were never bullshit,” Kinga said, rolling her eyes. “Just because you’ve never seen something doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

“One of your mad science mottos. Sounds like religion to me, sweetie.”

“Don’t be offensive.”

“Who’s being offensive? I’m still looking for my god in the machine. I’m getting closer all the time.” She took a sip of her drink and shrugged. “So which one’s your deus ex machina?”

“That’d be the alien.”

“The telepathic alien?”

“He prefers the word omnipotent.”

“Oh, of course. My mistake,” Root said, a laugh in her voice. “Go on.”

“I want to establish a moon base,” Kinga said. “An operational science station where I can pursue some projects which aren’t quite legal on this planet.”

“Ooh,” Root said. “What sort of illegal are we talking about?”

“Hybrid genetics, human cloning, maybe a little resurrection of extinct species...”

“Intriguing.”

“And human experimentation,” Kinga added. Root’s eyes lit up. “Of the torture variety.”

“Sweetie, you’ve got my attention.”

“I told you about what my dad used to do...”

“Oh, of course. I looked it up, pretty amusing stuff. I liked it better after your grandmother took over. Now that’s a woman who knows how to do evil.” Kinga shot a sideways glance at Max and took a rather large swig of her mimosa, then put her smile back on.

“Well, I want to resume those experiments.”

“Did you find the satellite?”

“Hm?”

“Well, it crashed, didn’t it? Maybe you could salvage something from the wreckage. And what about the robots?”

“What about them?”

“You should find them. It won’t be as funny without them.”

“I’ve actually tracked them down,” Max said, and Kinga turned an incredulous look on him. “It wasn’t that hard. They’re all on Facebook. So are Mike and Joel.”

“Did you send them a friend request?”

“Oh, yeah, that would go over great. Random request from someone with no mutual friends and the face of one of their old captors. Not suspicious at all.” Kinga rolled her eyes and Max shrugged. “The bots aren’t even friend-locked. The humans are a bit more discreet.”

“So where are they?” Root asked. “I’m always up for a kidnapping. They’re invigorating. And I’ve never kidnapped a robot before, but they don’t look like hard marks.”

“We’ve got time before that’s necessary,” Kinga said. “Acquiring the bots will be one of the last things I do before we transport the base to the moon.”

“Before you what now?” Root sat forward slightly, looking intent. “I’d appreciate a little clarity about this plan.”

“I’m intending to build the moon base on Earth and then have Brain Guy transport the entire facility up to the dark side of the moon with his powers.”

“So your entire plan hinges on an alien who carries his brain around in a dish.”

“No,” Kinga said. “My entire plan hinges on getting the funding to build the damn thing. I have perfect faith in Brain Guy’s ability to do what needs to be done. Getting the base built is what I need the most help with.”

“Which is why you called me,” Root said, nodding. “Well, sweetie, you couldn’t be a cheap date forever.” Kinga made an offended sound and Max’s eyes widened, and Root smirked. “Oh, not like that. But you remember how much fun we had on not much at all at school.”

“We’re older and more sophisticated than that now,” Kinga said, and Root eyed her and grinned.

“Yes. We’re all grown up and into our potential. And you always had such potential.”

“You’re the second person to say that in two days,” Kinga said. “I feel like I still have more potential to live up to. I’ve still got a ways to go before my doctorate...”

“What have you been working on?”

“Well, I’m limited by the constraints of legality with my work at Gizmonics, so all of my really good ideas are pending until the moon.” She shrugged. “I’m trying to develop a new form of media transmission.”

“Oh? Like higher definition or—?”

“We’re working on the definition,” Kinga said. “Right now it’s still audio-only. We’re working on visuals, I think we’re on the verge of a breakthrough.”

“Give me a call when you hit digital quality,” Root said. “I need a high-density data transmission system.”

“I’m not sure I’ll make it there any time soon.”

“Ah, well. Maybe there’s... something else you can do for me.” Root’s lashes lowered flirtatiously, and Kinga flushed slightly. She opened her mouth to say something just as the waitress returned with their food. “Oh, this looks fantastic. Thank you,” Root said as her eggs Benedict were set down in front of her. Kinga had opted for the key lime French toast, and Max had decided on the breakfast scramble. The conversation lapsed while they ate, until Root patted her lips with her napkin and picked it back up right where she’d left it off. “I could see helping you with this if you could promise me secure server space in your moon base.”

“Oh, yeah, not a problem,” Kinga said. “How much space?”

“I’m thinking an entire floor,” Root said, and Kinga’s eyes widened. “At least a thousand petabytes. I know, that’s a lot of energy, but it shouldn’t be too hard for you to figure out how to produce it if you’re already planning on powering a moon base. Perhaps you’ll find the heat of the servers useful, if you put them on a lower level.”

“What do you need so much server space for?” Max asked. Root pressed a finger to her lips, looking at him thoughtfully, and then smiled.

“Nothing yet, but I have a feeling it’ll be something I’ll need down the line. I’m planning for the long-term here. Who knows what kind of disaster is lurking beyond the horizon. I’d prefer to _be_ the disaster, but... best to be prepared.”

“Download the entire internet for all I care,” Kinga said. “Whatever you need it for. I’m not asking questions.”

“I knew you wouldn’t,” Root purred. “You always were perspicacious about when to press and when to yield.”

“You weren’t,” Kinga said, turning pink. “You always press.”

“I always need to know,” Root said. “Because the more I know the better my decisions are. And I’ve been making some very interesting decisions lately. This decision is quite interesting.”

“What decision?” Root smiled and reached into her purse, then passed a USB drive across the table, letting her fingertips caress Kinga’s hand as she took it.

“This will give you access to a Bitcoin account I keep. For fun, mostly. Scraping the internet is surprisingly profitable. I believe the value of the account is about a hundred million dollars at the moment. It’s completely untraceable. Use what you need. Call me when you’re nearly finished and I’ll arrange for the servers to be installed.” Kinga’s eyes widened. “Don’t lose the key,” Root said, and she glanced at Max. “Make sure you know where it is at all times, don’t let it walk away.”

“I’ll guard it with my life,” Kinga said, and Root grinned.

“I have no doubt about that.”

“Thank you, Root.”

“Oh, you’re welcome. You don’t have to wait until it’s done to call me, you know. It’d be nice to hear your voice once in a while. I do still miss you. You’d have the time of your life if you came with me for a few months...”

“I can’t,” Kinga said. “I have so much I need to finish here. Although your life sounds absolutely fascinating from what you told me.”

“Well, if you ever need a vacation, mayhem’s only a text away. You were always a light touch with an explosive device, that’d come in handy in Eastern Europe these days.”

“Your hands are just as light on them,” Kinga said, but she smiled. “Maybe one day I’ll take you up on that. But it won’t be soon.”

“Just keep it in mind,” Root said fondly. She glanced at her watch and fixed Kinga with an intense gaze. “My plane leaves in an hour and a half. That’s long enough for you to take me home, if you want...?” Under the table, Max’s knuckles went white from clenching his fists around his napkin. Kinga brushed her fingers against his hand and gave Root a regretful smile.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m trying this whole fidelity thing on for size and I think I like it.”

“And who are you faithful to?” Root asked curiously. Kinga looked at Max, who felt like he was at the wrong end of a rifle when Root’s gaze fixed on him. “Really? The infamous Max?”

“I’m not that infamous,” Max said a little weakly.

“Oh, I disagree. Your name was on Kinga’s lips on a daily basis while we were at school together. I had no idea that this would be the shape those feelings took when she found you again, but I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

“I was surprised,” Kinga said. “It’s a fairly new development.”

“I have to ask... _are_ you into women, or was our school just too much of a homosocial environment for you?”

“I’m bi,” Kinga said. “I always told you I was bi.”

“You always told me you loved me,” Root countered, but she sat back and looked from Kinga to Max and back again. “Then again, we all always knew you loved Max. Just not like this.”

“Things change. People grow. Just because I said something when I was sixteen that I’m not saying now doesn’t mean I was lying then.”

“I know,” Root said. “Well. I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but if he makes you happy then I don’t feel bad about leaving you in good hands.”

“He does,” Kinga said, squeezing Max’s hand gently. “He’s really good at it.”

“Take care of her for me,” Root said to Max.

“Taking care of her is what I do,” Max said, and Root gave him a nod. “And thank you. This project means a lot to the both of us. Thanks for giving us the means to go forward with it.”

“I’m happy to help my first love in any way I can,” Root said, standing up and dropping a bill on the table before coming around the table to lean down and brush her lips against Kinga’s cheek. “But I think it’d be best if I go now.”

“Thank you for everything,” Kinga said, reaching up to brush Root’s hair behind her ear and smiling at her. “I wouldn’t have made it through our school years without you.”

“Don’t be silly,” Root said. “You would have survived. You would have just been bored.” They looked at each other for a long moment, and then Root stole one proper kiss, quick and heartfelt. “Goodbye, Kinga. Keep in touch.”

“Goodbye, Root.” Kinga pressed two fingers to her lips as she watched Root walk away, then sighed quietly and turned to Max. “Thank you for coming with me to do this.”

“It was a weird position to be in,” Max said. “Watching her flirt with you was...”

“Unsettling?”

“Yes, but not in the way you think. It was unsettling because it was a little exciting.” He shook his head. “There’s something wrong with me, right? Thinking it’s hot watching someone else flirt with my girlfriend?”

“No, not at all. She’s really hot and I’m hot so it would be hot to watch us flirt.” She didn’t object to the word. In fact, she reached for his hand and studied their linked fingers for a moment before she looked back up at him. “I might have been tempted to go with her and cause chaos if you hadn’t been here. But we have so much to do. And I couldn’t leave the man I love.” Max went still, staring at her wide-eyed. She’d actually used the word!

“I couldn’t stand to lose you again,” he managed to say after a moment, and her lips quirked up.

“No. I don’t want to be parted from you either.” She lifted his hand and kissed the back of it. “Want to walk through the park with me before we go home?”

“Sure.” It was a beautiful day, and she looked gorgeous. There was no reason to rush back to work. He couldn’t think of anything better right now than walking through the flowers hand-in-hand with her.


End file.
